I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
