Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
