Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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