I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
