The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
