Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Randomize
