I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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