He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize