8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
