Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
