SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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