You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
