I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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