question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
