Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
