well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
