OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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