please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
