i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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