also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
