question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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