It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
