Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
