U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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