my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
