hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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