It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
