Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
