i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
