my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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