is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
