Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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