idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
