I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
