You really coming over, don't trick.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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