nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
