I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
