Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You can't motorboat a personality
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i dont even know how to be here
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
