The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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