can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
