my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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