3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
