fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
