i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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