i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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