So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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