when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
