I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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