But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
