told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
