new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
