ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
