My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
