Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
