I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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