so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
