What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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