Its about making memories worth repressing
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
