Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
