my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
