# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
