I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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