Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
