White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
