I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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