I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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