he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
